Day 13. 6 Nov 09.

@ Oklahoma: GMT-6, 9°C, clear.

Week Numero Uno

The first week came by and left, lots of downs and more downs. I begining to miss the King a lot, perhaps is the beer taking effect? Or perhaps is really the coldness of the winter nights.

I always remember how we always hide under the quilt, snuggering up against each other.. those were really the days. ;p~~~~~~~~~

strange.

when i went to sleep 6 hours ago, i remember filing up my brains with all the things i studied.

but now its blank.

where did it all go?

am i over stressing myself?


breathe, pe, breathe.

xi........... hu............

xi........... hu............




DARLIN, i am really scare.
and this time round i dont have your voice to calm me down.. *SOBS

Day 4

With a lousy internet connection, no phone lines, no tv, I have no idea what the hell is going on out there!!

Missing the King.

Day 1. 25 Oct 09.

@ Oklahoma: 11°C, clear.







after reading it over and over again, the initial feeling of this-letter-sucks is getting stronger. i knew the letter kinda weird but it was already 4am and i havent touched my books yet was making me close one eye to finish things up. and after hours of working on the letters, words ran out and brain was kinda tired too. whatever the was, i should have re-write it. sorry. forgive me?

if i were to re-write, this would be how it goes...


to my dearest sweetest cutest dar dar,

so did you guess correctly my surprise for you? told you i am boring, you sure would not be surprised one. =|

wanted to do something special for your first work trip. the original plan was only to self-make a photoframe with a picture of us. but it seems a little boring and is useful only if you display it. what if your roomie see and laugh at my poor princess? thinking what a cuckoo gf you have, away for one month must also give photoframe.

then i was planned to blog everyday - writing a letter/update/report so that both of us know whats going on at each side. thats why i asked you blog once a day too. but too bad, you said that you may not have internet over there, so i kinda used the most old-fashioned, most traditional way to communicate with you - write letters.

anyway, i still hoped that they are "special" enough and you would like them - entertaining/irritating you once a day. =P remember to open one only everyday okie? promise? sg time or us time but only one per 24 hours.

btw, must remember to take care of yourself and dont stubborn okie? my dar is smart and clever but he is uber stubborn sometimes. keep yourself warm and drink loads of water. be friendly and go make some friends but dont let them bully you okie?

dont worry about me, i'll be fine. like you said, time would past quickly with me busying study and finding job. and the 3 weekends would be over even before i know it.

love you so so so so so much. =*

love,
me.

i am never going to loose you again.

princess dedicate this song to me a few years ago but i keep losing it. =(

it was so hard to find that time. maybe because it wasn t popular yet that time. i only could find the music at a thai blog but i could not save the music. so i bookmarked the page. few months later, i realised the thai blog was gone.

i backtracked the evidences to find the title of the song again. though my thai is ok but my memory is not ok. and this time i manage to find the lyrics and translation at a blog but he/she disallowed right click! so again i bookmarked the page.

just two weeks ago, princess help me to format my bao-bei. i backup everything except the bookmarks and it s gone again!

this time it was even harder to find the the song. i cant remember the title and i have no evidences left. =( but well after hours of searhing, I FOUND IT! and this time round, i am going to put it here so it will not get lost ever again.

the mv is a little old-fashioned but the song is nice. enjoy!





ชื่อเพลง/Title : รักเธอไม่มีวันหยุด - rak ter mai mee wan yoot
อัลบัม/Album : Kevlin's secret
ศิลปิน/Artist : อ้อน เกวลิน คอตแลนด์ - Aon Kevlin

จากกัน จึง รู้ความจริง ไม่มี แล้ว ใคร
jaak gan jeung roo kwaam jing mai mee laew krai
After separating, I realised that I'm left with no one
ที่จะ รัก ฉัน และ จริงใจ
tee ja rak chan lae jing jai
who will truly love me
เทียบเท่า เธอ ได้เลย คง ไม่มี
tiap tao ter daai loie kong mai mee
as much as you did, probably no one else

* กลับมา เพื่อ ทวงคำสัญญา
glap maa peua tuang kam san-yaa
Come back for the sake of the promise
จาก คนๆ หนึ่ง ซึ่ง เคย รัก กัน
jaak kon-kon neung seung koie rak gan
from a person whom you loved before
ไม่ว่าจะเกิดอะไรขึ้น มา กับ ฉัน
mai waa ja gert a-rai keun maa gap chan
No matter what's gonna happen to me
เธอ ไม่มีวัน ทิ้ง ให้ ฉัน เดียวดาย
ter mai mee wan ting hai chan dieow daai
you never left me alone

** อยาก ให้ เธอ รู้ว่า ฉันคิดถึงเธอ ที่สุด
yaak hai ter roo waa chan kit teung ter tee soot
I want you to know that I missed you the most
อยาก ให้ เธอ รู้ว่า ฉัน ยัง รัก เธอ ที่สุด
yaak hai ter roo waa chan yang rak ter tee soot
want you to know that I still love you the most
รัก เธอ ไม่มีวัน หยุด
rak ter mai mee wan yoot
Never a day I will stop loving you
พูด จาก ส่วนลึก สุดใจ
poot jaak suan leuk soot jai
Words spoken from the bottom of my heart
อยาก ให้ เธอ รู้ว่า ฉัน ยัง รัก เธอ
yaak hai ter roo waa chan yang rak ter
Want you to know that I still love you
แต่ ตอนนี้ เธอ อยู่ ไหน รู้ หรือไม่ ว่า ฉัน ต้องการ
dtae dton nee ter yoo nai roo reu mai waa chan dtong gaan
But, where are you now, do you know that I need you?

อดีต ที่ ฉัน เคย ทำ ให้ เธอ ช้ำใจ
a-deet tee chan koie tam hai ter cham jai
Those things that I did in the past which caused you to be heartbroken
ขอโทษ เถิด นะ ถ้า ยัง ไม่ สาย เกินไป โปรด อภัย ให้ กัน
kor toht tert na taa yang mai saai gern bpai bproht a-pai hai gan
I apologise, if I'm not too late I wanna ask for your forgiveness.

( * , ** )

หาก ต้อง ขาด เธอ ไป ฉัน ไม่เหลือใคร อีกแล้ว
haak dtong kaat ter bpai chan mai leua krai eek laew
If I have to leave you, I'll be left with no one else
เฝ้ารอ จน ป่านนี้ ยัง ไม่มี เลย วี่ แวว
fao ror jon bpaan nee yang mai mee loie wee waew
Waiting till now, there's still nothing hopeful.
หรือว่า เธอ มี ใคร แล้วจึง ไม่ ห่วง
reu waa ter mee krai laew jeung mai huang
or you've found someone already therefore you're not concerned
ไม่ เหลือ เยื่อใย อีกแล้ว
mai leua yeua yai eek laew
No more feelings left.

( ** )

แต่ ตอนนี้ เธอ อยู่ ไหน รู้ หรือไม่ ว่า ฉัน ยัง รัก เธอ
dtae dton nee ter yoo nai roo reu mai waa chan yang rak ter
But, where are you now, do you know that I still love you?

princess' xmas shopping list.

1. coach's ali hobo

style:13655
colour: sliver/white

2. kate spade's coney island stevie

style # PXRU1249
colour: black

3. Timex's T Series Perpetual Calendar

style # T2M4536K
clockface: white or black also can.
strap: black leather

YES!! i am a greedy pig!

thats why you always only allow me to have one dish at a time, STRICTLY!! and if i wanted to order something else have to finish the last grain/speck of food on my current plate to proof that i am not full yet, before you would allow me to order another dish.

but look!! 3 dishes at the same time just for the two of us. when i saw you ordering everything i wanted to eat, though its just a little thing but i felt so loved. *blissful smile*




i am loving you more too.! =*

everybody was saying that it would be my turn next. dont know why but i did not like the sound of it. sounds like my fate is concealed and there is no room for what-ifs. no doubt i have a wonderful princess but the thing is i am not even engaged. i feel mocked.

i wonder would this be the topic in future family gatherings. i love my family but i really hoped they would stop asking me when i would get married and telling me that i would be the next. there are really things such as what-if and shit-happens.

***

though it has already passed but for the first time i really dont feel like talking to them. its not their fault, i know. i am just not happy with the way they deal with the incident - asking us to believe and forgive a person who is not sincere in apologising. and when we dint, they made the whole thing like our freaking fault!! unbelievable!!

it really pained my heart, a day that i ever lose hope in someone, and i will never forget. the way he apologise just freaks me and pisses me off. kneeling and words with no meaning. all this while i just need him to sincerely apologise and 醒悟. i dont need the kneeling and i dont really need the word 'sorry'. i just need him to really feel sorry and fixed my sister. but all he did was deny and shouting saying we are forcing him to a corner. until now, i cant figure out was he begging for forgiveness or begging us to not tell the family.

and to think that i have to tell my future family of my past.. that scares the hell out of me. i feel like i am carrying a scar of some criminal offence that i cant remove.

i know you said i dont need to. i think it my duty to at least let your parents know i dont want to feel that i have cheated them in any ways least it come out in public...

it has been quiet for quite sometime but i feel unsettled. i could not sleep for a few nights after that night. but i convinced myself that they would stay low until after today and get some sleep. now that my cousie's wedding is over, i am really worried and i am losing my sleep again.

my secret.

this is the secret that i managed to sneak into the grocery basket the other day. =)

TADA!! =D

why is it kin-der and not kind-der??

crunchy.chocolate.milk

last bit which ended in my mouth.. hmmmmm...

and did you know that this kinder joy even have a facebook fan page? this proves how good it is.. hahaha.. and the best thing is it comes with a toy!! lalalala..

naked. no stickers.

suppose to press the grey thing at the front and

the "little girl" would be ejected into the air!

i tried taking photo of the motion the "little girl" flying. heres mine...

ready...

*

*

*

*

*

FLY!!!

*

*

*

*

*

kua-kua..

and i failed miserably. =(

couldnt even catch it in mid-air..

but i tell you, my darlin is good... this is his try.

moments right after being ejected.

up up and away!! whee!!

hahaha...

and he did it again!

smartass.

mooncakes!

since i am not working, princess bought mooncakes on my behalf. so sweet!

man, i tell you.

these are so far the nicest mooncake ever. =D

Look they have new flavours!! but princess gave me that look when i tried to put one into the grocery basket. =(







dont they look yummy? anyway will try again next time. anyway i manage to sneak something else into the basket.. shh.....

bored.

*blingz*

My dar dar is so sweet!

He knows that i'm busy with work and actually when to bed on his own!

Smuack!

YUMMY...

coffee @ dome.

Finally!!

Princess got me the nama chocolates!!

bitter but still a little sweet.

it comes with a spoon cum knife. cute eh..

yummy!!

love ya, princess.. =*

ok. really.. enough is enough.


i dont want to play anymore.. its not fun anyway.


can i take it off already?


its hot. sticky. itchy. heavy. growing cheese. inconvenient. such a pain and hassle.


please?


i promise i'll be good.

was up all night. i am tired and still worried.

tell me why i should not be unhappy and kick up a fuss every time you go for a dive. just to let you know i hate being joy killer too.

promised to do something and you "forget". is it so difficult to remember?

you probably enjoying the beautiful ocean somewhere and i am still sitting here waiting. waiting like an idiot.




this really sucks.

what should i say.. what if i say something stupid? i am really really bad at it one loh.. actually i have really done this before.. i only remember the time i cheer was in sec sch when we have cheer practices and have words to see and cheer... sigh.. been thinking what to say since i woken up at 3.. what if i am lost for words at that moment? then do i have to run along till i could think of something good to say?

should i say "go darlin go"? but like very lembek and mushy leh.. need something more macho..

quick think.. think.. think..

so excited that i cant think.. theres so much on my mind now.. things to bring.. things to say.. how loud should i cheer.. how come the alarm dint ring.. where should i wait for princess.. what if i get stuck in a jam or road block.. how much money do i think i need.. where are the stops.. what are my alternative means of travelling.. where is princess now..

die almost 8.30 already.. now mr goldfish is going to say that i waste money when he sees this..

I AM LATE!!

wait.. i still dunno what to cheer?!

LATE LATE LATE!!

ok i think i have to think of that on my way there..

anyway just in case i dont see you, due to some calculation error or my gong-gong-ness, "RUN JK RUN JK!!" and i love you no matter what.